The Aftermath
by Sabriel Abhorsen
Summary: This, like many, many others, is a continuation of Book 54. Yeah, I know not very original. But please R&R anyway!
1. Default Chapter

They were gone. For real now, all of them.

What did I feel? Regret? Did I wish I was with them, on that crazy, suicidal mission to save Ax, someone who was more than a friend? I couldn't tell.

I tried to tell myself I did the right thing by staying. I had work to do here, I was needed. And I had Ronnie so I wasn't alone. Not completely.

But Ronnie would never be Jake. And Ronnie would never understand the things that only the others had understood. We were all part of this little clique, this group. But now, I was the only one left.  
It's a horrible feeling, knowing you're the last one standing.

I had thought about the war ending. Of course I had, we all had. We all had dreamed about it, in our own different ways. Had Rachel dreaded it? The end? I didn't know, and know I never would. All the time while I thought about the end, it had always seemed so far away, so impossible. Like death, I suppose. Or just growing old. I guess some part of me thought that I would never survive the war. And now, look! Here I am! Alive! Well! Against all the odds.

I was never like Rachel, loving it. I hated it. And I was never like Jake, needing it too, it a different sort of way. And I'm glad I survived, glad, yes that I lived even while my best friend, and James and his people and countless others hadall perished in the fury of the war.

Perished.

And now, were the others gone too? Were they dead? Oh, God, if there is a God, please. Protect them. Let them live.

"Cass?"

I wiped away my tears quickly and turned to Ronnie, a forced smile on my face. He looked so concerned for me, and I hated for him to worry.

"You okay? It's getting chilly out. You should come in."

I nodded. I took one last glance at the stars, the bright multitude glittering in the unending darkness, before turning my back on them, walking to Ronnie.

He kissed my lips softly. A nice kiss, yes. But not Jake's kiss.

Forget Jake! I kissed Ronnie back, swallowing the next wave of tears that threatened to surface. What Jake andI had was over long before he had left in search of Ax. Our love had ended with the war. He couldn't move on. I had.

"Hey, we've got a big day tomorrow. You do remember, right? The Hork-Bajirs?"

Of course I remembered. The Hork-Bajir Valley dedication. With the Hork-Bajir population growing, we had finally found a new Valley for them to live in. I decided to focus upon that, the good. What else could I do?

They were gone.


	2. Eight Years Later

"Mommy!"

"Cass?"

Too many voices! I moaned, rolled over. Ronnie, my husband, shook my gently. "Cass, you need to get up. Honey?"

"I'm up," I sighed. I knew I had to get up. The animals needed to be fed, as well as the humans. I rolled out of bed, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

And pushing the nightmare out of my head.

I had taken over the Wildlife Refuge a few years ago, so I had the poor creatures out in the barn to take care of, as always. But I also had my little five year old girl, Rachel, to look after as well.

"I'm running late," Ronnie said. "Can you take Rachel to daycare? I know it's my day to do it , but I'm really late," he groveled. "I do it tomorrow and the next day, I swear."

"Unless you're late again," I said, rolling my eyes. "Go then, you louse of a husband. I don't know why I put up with you."

He kissed me on the mouth, gently, teasing. "Now do you remember?" he asked softly.

I smiled, but I could still feel the dream in the back of my mind. Would they ever stop plaguing me? "I thought you were late. Go."

"I'll be right there honey," I called to Rachel as I walked out the front door to grab the paper. I bent down to pick it up- and froze in my tracks.

It was a man. An ordinary man, standing out there, almost as if he was waiting for me. There was nothing strange about it, really, he could have been anyone.

But I knew, deep down, I knew. This was no regular man.

My blood froze in my veins and I stared at him, hearing my heart beating in my ears. "What do you want?" I whispered.

He smiled then. "Want, Cassie? I want nothing. We want nothing. We do not interfere with the matters of other species."

"Ellimist," I whispered, shaking. I turned expecting the girls- but no. We would not be interrupted. "Why are you here?"

"To help you save a timeline that must be saved."

"Without interfering, huh?" I was crying, I realized, real tears. I hadn't cried since the last time I had said my final good-byes, finally letting go of the others. But no, I realized now. I had never let go of them. They were part of me, they made me me, and if I thought otherwise, I was only fooling myself.

I was no longer afraid of what news the Ellimist brought. I knew it would change everything. But I had nothing to fear.

Was I ready? No, never. But I was willing.

"The One has them, your friends, he has had them trapped in his world for the past five years. You must stop him, for I cannot."

"You can't stop this… being?" I said, startled. "But you think I can?"

"The One is a creature of Crayak, far more powerful than anything else he has ever had. Long ago The One was made, but before he could be released, I was able to stop Crayak. But I am too late now, and I am powerless here." He looked so sad, so grave, and I felt pity for the great creature that appeared as a man.  
"The Rules?"

The Ellimist nodded. "You are the last hope for the galaxy, Cassie. Will you fight once more?"

His words sent a chill down my spine. "My daughter, my husband… what will happen to them?"

"One cannot live in two timelines, not even you, anomaly that you are. It will be as if you were nothing but a dream to them."

A poetic way of saying I would have never existed for them. I nodded, accepting the answer, it was what I had expected. I felt a heaviness on my heart. How could I say no? How could I say no, when they needed me, all of them, after I had said no to Ax? I would never live with myself. I could barely live with myself as it was.

"Yes, Ellimist," I said. "I will fight."

FIGHT CASSIE. FIGHT AND WIN.


	3. The Next Step

I was in a room.

It happened so suddenly that I fell back a step, startled. There had been no big flash, no boom… but then again, those things had never been the Ellimist's style.

I looked around, taking the view in. It was a nice room, in an average house. It was very clean, almost as if no one spent much time there. And yet… it smelled a little. It smelled like…

Dogs. I laughed to myself. I was in a dog lover's home. A place I could feel right at home in.

But whose house was it? And why had the Ellimist brought me here?

Before I could spend too much time worrying about it, I heard the front door open. I just stood there, frozen in place. What was I supposed to do? I cursed the Ellimist and his non-interfereing ways. Couldn't he have told me at least where I was going?

"Kayla?" a man's voice called out.

The voice… it struck a chord in my memory. I bit my lip hard, struggling to remember. It was important thatI remembered. Where had I heard that voice?

"Up here!" a distant voice called. "I'm just-" there was muffled laughter- "I'm just trying to give our babies a bath."

The man laughed. "Good luck with that! You should just leave them dirty, dear, you'll never-"

Loud barking interrupted him, and I took a timid step forward, peeking around the corner of the room. I saw a large wet dog, covered in soap suds running down the stairs. He jumped on someone- the man, I suppose- and I could hear him laughing. Again, the creepy sensation of recognition came over me. Maybe if I saw his face…

A woman rushed down the stairs, her hair tied up and her sleeves rolled up. Three more dogs followed her down, all wet from the bath.

She ran to the man, and I think there was a hug. There was a noise, and I flushed as I realized that they were kissing. I felt ridiculous, standing in these people's living room, no idea where I was.

"Honey," the man said in a subdued tone, and I froze as I realized that they were coming in to the room. I looked around for a place to hide, but finally decided to stay put.

They entered the room with their arms around each other, the dripping dogs at their feet. "Oh!" the woman, Kayla, cried, startled, when she saw me, dropping her arms. One of the dogs barked and another growled.  
But the man just stood frozen, as did I. We stared at each other. It had been so many years since I had seen him… but I recognized him. Or at least what projected as him. It was shocking, really. Of all the people…  
Well, he wasn't exactly a person.

"Kayla, why don't you finish washing the dogs," he said. "I… I'll deal with this." He was pale and shaking, staring at me like I was a ghost.

He recognized me as well.

Kayla just looked at him, saw the expression on his face, and nodded. She gave me a look, and ushered the dogs upstairs.

We were alone.

I finally found my voice. "Erek?"

"Cassie?" he said.

I nodded and shook my head and nodded again. "Yeah, it's me," I said. "Wha- I haven't seen you since… the war ended."

He looked bitter. "You mean since I helped kill Rachel."

His words stunned me. "Erek, no. It wasn't your fault. I mean, you couldn't have known… and well, after what Jake did…" I trailed off. I had never seen his hologram face look so empty, and my heart filled with sudden ache. All these years we had never communicated, and he had been here, blaming himself for some of the horrors that had happened at the last battle.

Erek shrugged my words off. "What are you doing here? How did you get in? Did you morph-"

"No. The Ellimist sent me here."

Erek's hologram tensed up. He knew what that meant, just as I had. "What does he want?"

"The others are in trouble. They're captives of a creature of Crayak. And the Ellimist-"

"Is sending you to save them?"

I hesitated, knowing he didn't want it said, but it had to be. "Sending us."

Erek turned away. His hologram flickered and vanished, and I found myself looking at the android I had known so many years ago. Unlike the hologram, it was the same as I remembered.

He looked down at his body. "She's my wife. That woman? My wife- a human. She doesn't what I am. She has no idea…"

"I was always a little different from some of my kind. I was more open to violent tendencies. Like…"

He stopped and took a shaky breath. I closed my eyes and shuddered too. Erek had once deactivated his peaceful Pemalite programming and saved us, the Animorphs.

It had been a massacre.

He changed his programming back afterwards, but I'll never forget the look on his face afterwards. The look of complete horror and disgust with himself.

I knew that feeling. I had had it too. But unlike Erek, I was born with a mortal memory, and I could push the bad memories away, forget them sometimes.

An android never forgets.

"I went off on my own a little after the war," Erek said suddenly. "And then I met Kayla and- I fell in love with her."

His hologram snapped back on, and I saw a world-weary man staring out at me. "She doesn't know, and that's the way I want it. I'll grow old with her, 'die' with her, but unlike her, I'll be reborn again." He closed his eyes, and could tell that the thought hurt. Quietly, he added, "It's against our rules, you know, marrying a human. We're not supposed to interfere with humans like that. But when I met Kayla, I just…"  
I put my hand on his arm. "You don't have to explain it to me," I said gently. "I understand."  
Erek smiled at me. "If anyone could, it would be you."

I was touched. I had missed Erek when the war had ended, and hated how we had left off. He had been invaluable to us during the war, but more than that, he was a friend.

"What do you want me to do, Cassie? Leave her to help you help the others? I was never an Animorph, and I still can't fight- what use would I be to you?"

"Every use!" I said adamantly. "Erek… I know this is the last thing you want to do. I feel the same way. But if we don't go, who will?"

He had no answer to that. I saw the defeat in his eyes, as well as the acceptance. I knew he would come then, if only to ease his mind about Rachel. He had to come, the same as I had.

"She really admired you, Kayla did," Erek said suddenly. "We saw you on TV, heard about the things you were doing, the things you had done… she really looked up to you. And she didn't even know you. And me? I did know you and I… I guess I admire you, too, Cassie." His hologram disappeared again, and he looked at me with his real face. "Let's do this, before I find the courage to change my mind."


	4. The Start

I staggered back. Madness! We were no longer in Erek's home, but outside now, in a forest. There were trees everywhere, and-

No, no, not a forest- a valley. I recognized it now. The Hork-Bajir Valley.

"What's going on?" Erek asked, his true form showing.

"I'm not sure," I said, mentally cursing the Ellimist. "But I think we're in the Hork-Bajir Valley- the original one, where Toby-"

I stopped. No! That couldn't be what the Ellimist wanted- could it? I just shook my head. "Let's see if we can find anyone."

We walked along the edge of the valley, cautiously heading deeper and deeper in. I caught sight of a couple young Hork-Bajirs hanging from the trees and I couldn't help but smile.

"Hello, Cassie."

I stopped and Erek almost ran into me. I felt sick, weak. What right did I have to do this to either of them? I knew I should go, save the others, but Erek? Toby?

They should be done with it.

"Toby," I said, staring at her. She was a full grown Hork-Bajir now, and I knew she had a mate and a son- another seer whom she was teaching. Shegave me one of those frightening Hork-Bajir smiles. Perhaps it was my imagination, but it looked… a little sad.

"You know why were here?" I said, baffled.

"I knew you would come eventually," she said. "Ever since the others vanished, I knew that one day you would come, and take me away from this." She swept her arm over the valley, with all its inhabitants.

"I shouldn't ask you, either of you, to do this," I started to say, but Erek cut me off.

"You should," he said sternly. "We wouldn't let you do this alone, you know that."

"I will do all I can to help save Tobias, who freed the first of us," Toby added.

I felt new tears forming, but for once, they were happy tears. "But you've done so much for us already."

"We are all on the same side," Toby said sternly. "There are no debts to be paid between us. We all go as friends, to help our friends."

Erek nodded in agreement and I swallowed. "Okay, then Ellimist," I said. "Now what?"

YOU MUST FACE HIM.

Before I could even realize it, the valley was gone. Stars! A great gathering of them, all around, blindingly bright. Suddenly, we were everywhere and nowhere, we were everyone and no one, all at once. My breath caught in the throat I wasn't sure was there. "Face him? How? Where? What's going on?"

YOU WILL FIND IT IN A UNIVERSE THAT SHOULD NOT EXIST, BUT DOES. A BLENDING OF WORLDS THAT WAS ONCE CREATED USING THE TIMEMATRIX. I WILL TAKE YOU THERE, BUT BE WARNED.

THE ONE KNOWS YOU ARE COMING.


	5. The Journey

It was dark.

I blinked several times, letting my eyes adjust to the lack of light. I was outside, and it was cold. I shivered and looked around. My heart almost stopped.

I was completely alone.

"Erek?" I called. "Toby?" No answer. My voice echoed loudly in the dead silence that surrounded me. I swallowed hard.

Where were they? Where was I for that matter? I closed my eyes as I thought of the Ellimist's words. A Universe that should not exist… a blending of worlds…

A blending of worlds…?

I opened my eyes and fully took in my surroundings for the first time. Although it was dark, it was getting lighter. The sun was rising in the sky-

I choked on a gasp. The sky… It was wrong.

That was the only thought that came to me as I stared transfixed at it. It was wrong. It was blue, yes, the blue of Earth's sky, but at the same time it was a startling red and gold color. And it was also green, with jagged bolts of lightning. I stared straight up and saw that the colors were divided into different pieces. It was almost as if…

As if someone had mixed three different worlds together.

What was this place? It wasn't natural at all. And why was theOne here? A chill went through my body.

"Ellimist," I whispered. And suddenly I knew.

I knew how Elfangor and Loren and the Visser had created this place.

I knew how the Abomination had been made.

I knew how Tobias had been born.

I knew everything.

I gasped out loud, my hands flying to my face. Oh no, no…. it was too much all at once. So much emotions, so much feelings… I could feel the pain, the love, the fear, the joy…

Was this how the Ellimist felt? All knowing, all powerful, all at once, so that it was almost too much to handle, too much to comprehend…

What was wrong with me?

Cassie?>

I jerked around, my heart thudding in my chest. "Ax!" I cried joyfully. I began to rush to him, but I stopped. Something was wrong.

He looked the same, only older, older and perhaps a little wiser. It was hard picturing this formidable Andalite playing with words or choking down a cinnamon bun.

I'm so glad you're here! The others and I are waiting for you! Come! Prince Jake was worried.>

My heart leaped, despite the fact that I was married with children, despite the fact that I had not seen Jake in five years. But still I hesitated before running to him. He stared intently at me with his main eyes, but there was no sign of his usual smile there.

Cassie,> he said again, this time a note of anger creeping into his 'voice'. You must come.>

"Ax," I said, taking a slow step towards him. "Where are the others?"

Near. I will take them to you. Just come here and take my hand.>

He held out his small Andalite hand to me, and I tried to make sense of all the thoughts in my head. My head was still ringing from all the information I had somehow received, and there was something… off about Ax. I had long ago learned to trust my instincts. Now here in this bizarre universe that had no right existing, I wasn't about to throw all that away.

"Cassie, get away from him!"

Erek's voice made me turn my head as I took a step back from Ax. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his stalk eyes whirled around to the android, and his tail went up. That was definitely not like Ax. I saw the hate in his eyes and I knew for sure.

Ax was a Controller.

Cassie! Jake wants to see you! You must come!>

It hurt my heart to hear his name again, and it took all my willpower to ignore his words. They were lies, they had to be.

I never did like you, Cassie,> he sneered suddenly, sensing that I had seen through the facade. All your moralizing, your hypocrisy. It was a war! Someone had to die. And you, you would rather save _Yeerks_, our enemies, than us.>

"That's not true!" I cried. "You know that's not true, Ax. I know you can hear me-"

He laughed then. You think I'm a Controller, Cassie? Is that what you think? Don't be foolish. I am part of the One now, and I am free. You foolish humans! We should have left you to the Yeerks! The only good human is a slave.>

It ripped me apart to hear his words. "You are not Ax," I said coldly. "Go away, whatever and whoever you are."

His eyes flashed with fury. "You heard her," Erek said, and I was startled by the venom in his voice. "Beat it."

The One will have you, Cassie! Just like he has the other Animorphs! He will have you! >I cried out in alarm as Ax vanished suddenly.

"What was that?" I cried. "It wasn't Ax."

"A part of the One," Toby said. She was standing behind Erek. "And at the same time, Ax. That was the dark part of Ax we saw. The One has the good side of him trapped somewhere."

"With the Time Matrix," I said suddenly. "That's where he has to be. That's where all of them have to be. And we'll find the Matrix," I looked up, at the spiraling clouds, painfully aware that Elfangor and Loren had once done the same thing, so long ago, "in the center of this Universe."

They did not ask me how I knew, and I did not ask them how they knew about the One. There was something about this place, something that… Or perhaps it was the Ellimist, manipulating quietly in his usual way, giving us the information we needed to survive.

Maybe it was better not to understand these things.

"We may run into the others," Toby said slowly. "But they will be like Ax. Cassie, can you… will you go on anyway?"

It stung deeply, in my soul, to think of the others like Ax, the darkest parts of them the only parts free. Would I be able to handle it? That was what Toby was asking. Could I handle the others saying things that were them, yes, but only in the deepest dark part of their souls?

We all have some darkness inside us. Even me. I could handle it. I would have to.


	6. The Trials

I could barely hear anything over the pounding of my own heart. Who was this One, really? A creature of Crayak, yes, and that was bad enough, but to do this? To destroy all that was good in my friends, to turn them into abominations like the Ax I had seen. But I had no choice to go on. Erek and Toby were with me, and we made a funny little army, going to battle against this all powerful evil. But I was used to small, strange armies. That's what we had been, us Animorphs. A small army against a force that threatened to overwhelm us always.

And yet we had won. I sometimes almost forgot that, when I saw what had happened to us 'heroes'. And now this new enemy threatened what was left of us.

It was something I couldn't let happen.

The world we were on was so strange, and yet so familiar. It had been a meeting of three totally different minds, and the result had been…

"Someone's coming," Toby said, and my heart stopped. Who would it be this time? God, did I really want to know?

"It means we're on the right track," Erek reminded me. Yes, the closer we came to our goal the closer we came tomore heartache.

He emerged from a distance, flying in low over the multicolored horizon. I hoped it would be different this time, now that I knew what to expect.

I was wrong.

(Cassie,) he said.

"Tobias," I said, stopping. "Don't come any closer. I know what you are," I said. He fluttered to the ground.

(Do you? Did they tell you?) he asked, gesturing with his beak. You really think you can trust him? He killed Rachel, Cassie. Our Rachel.

"No," I said, but my voice was soft.

(You don't deserve to pretend to be human,) he said to Erek. (I'll never be truly a human again, and it's all your fault.)

The horror and shame on Erek's human face disappeared as he dropped the hologram. Tobias' words echoed that ones that had been in his heart for years.

"Don't listen to him," I said desperately.

(Cassie, how can you speak to him? Of course, I shouldn't be surprised. You've disgraced Rachel's memory. She would have done anything to help one of us, but you didn't do anything to save her. You, who are supposed to read people oh so well, didn't see Jake's plan. Or maybe you just didn't care.)

"That's not it," I said, and the tears I had been suppressing for so long slid slowly out of my eyes. "You, the real you, knows better."

(And of course, you didn't even have enough guts in you to help us rescue the other person you knew I cared about- my _shorm_, Ax.)

I was sobbing now, shaking my head, but I couldn't get rid of the words. Oh, god, it was true, it was true!

"Tobias," Toby said. "You are my namesake. This is not you. I know you, and this is not you."

(What do you know? You're just a stupid Hork-Bajir, no matter what anyone says! Just like your entire species- stupid, stupid, stupid!)

"No!" I cried. "I don't care if you say you really are part of Tobias, he would never say that. Get away from us! Go!"

The bird vanished and I almost broke down then and there. How could I do this? How could I face the others? Marco, Jake… I wouldn't be able to do it. I was weak, gutless, just like he had said.

Toby put her hand on my back. "We must go on, or leave them like this forever."

She was right, she was right. I took a deep breath in. And out again. I looked at Erek, who was still all android.

"Can we do this?" I asked him softly.

"We have to," he said.

He was right. They were both right. We had to be strong- and we had to take whatever the One threw at us.

It was the only way.


	7. The Test

Marco would be next.

I knew that without even having to think about it. The One would save Jake for last, because he knew that Jake was what was going to break me in the end. Despite everything- my marriage, my children- I knew that I still loved him. Did that make me a bad person? I was married and in love with someone else. I should have never married Ronnie. He was a good man, and I loved him in a different way, but I wasn't fair to him. I had been so desperate to move on, live life. And I had wanted children- children to raise in a safe, pure world without war and death.

But it didn't matter now, did it? I would never see any of them again.

It was almost tempting to just give up there, to sit and just become part of Elfangor's world, and let the world go to hell. I might have done that too, if it hadn't been for Erek and Toby.

"We have to be strong," Toby said, watching me with her Hork Bajir eyes. "Stronger than before. It is not our bodies the One is attacking. It is our hearts, our minds."

I looked between the three of us. "That's the strongest part of us," I said. "All of us. We were never the real warriors, but the hearts and minds of the group. And that's why," I realized suddenly, "that's why the Ellimist chose us. Because he knows that."

I looked up at the sky. The colors were blending together as we came closer to the center, to the Time Matrix. I wondered why the Ellimist had created it in the first place- the most powerful weapon in the universe.

I would probably never know.

We traveled together over Earth, Andalite and Yeerk lands, and it was hard to tell if we were making any progress, but I knew we were. I almost waned to morph to wolf so that we could faster, and so that I could hide behind the animal's emotions when it came time to face the last tests before us.

We met on a stretch of dry Yeerk land. On either side of us was beautiful Earth and Andalite lands, and we were stuck on the bare, ugly Yeerk lands. It was fitting though, because the Marco we were facing was the bare, ugly Marco.

"Cassie," he said with a trademark grin.

"Don't bother," I said, trying to sound cold, but coming off weak, confused. He laughed at me.

"You're the one who should stop bothering," he said. "All of you. There's no point, really. Even if you make it past me, you know what's next, Cassie."

I didn't answer. What could I say?

"Look, let's be smart about this. The One can help you. You don't have to fight him. He has this way of- liberating you. Freeing you."

"You sound like a Controller," I spat.

"Maybe I do," he said with another laugh. "But we never really gave the whole Controller thing enough thought did we? Although, maybe you did. Miss Hypocrite- you fight the Yeerks, kill the Yeerks, then you go out and feel sorry for them, free them. Make up your mind Cassie- whose side are you on?"

"The war's over," Erek said angrily. "Let the past die."

"Oh, like you did? I know all about you Erek. Trying to be human, huh? Just like Pinocchio, always wanting to be a real boy." He smiled at the look of shock on Erek's face. "You shouldn't be surprised. The One knows everything and I, by association, do too. Named the kid you have by the Ronnie after Jake's dead cousin? You always were the sentimental one."

"Shut up," I whispered.

"I am tired of listening to these lies," Toby said suddenly, stepping forward. "I am tired of being bombarded by you creatures who dare to call yourselves by the names of our friends. Get out of here, or else I'll make you leave."

"Be careful, Hork-Bajir," Marco snarled. "The One has given me more power than I could ever dream of, and I am not afraid to use it."

"Then come. We will fight."

"No!" I said, but Toby leaped forward, swiping her wrist blades towards Marco's face. He fell back just in time, and I watched in horror as he began to morph. "No! What if he is still Marco, at least in part? We can't risk-"

(Yes, let's try to stop the violence,) a morphing Marco sneered at me. He was growing larger and larger, his skin sprouting long, coarse black hair as he made the transition from man to gorilla. (Somehow you never could, could you, Cassie? Bitch, bitch, bitch- but you never ever made any kind of difference in the end.)

"No," Erek said then, stepping forward to hold Toby back with his android strength. "Cassie is right. He is not. The One wants us to fight, and we will- but with him, not with out old friends, no matter what he has done with them."

Marco glared at us from his gorilla body, and I thought for a second he was going to attack us, but he didn't. (You can't win, you never could, could you, Cassie? Someone's going to get hurt, someone always does, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.)

"Go away," I said, and he did.

Erek let go of Toby and she relaxed, looking as much ashamed as I've ever seen a Hork-Bajir look. "I should not have let my temper get the better of me," she said.

"It's not your fault," I said.

"But I wonder, why did he not attack? The One must have something else in mind for us."

The thought did not comfort me.


	8. The Lost

We walked in silence for a long time. They had to know what I was thinking about. Erek, an android, and Toby, a brilliant anomaly? Of course they knew, but they did not say anything about it. And I was glad. Jake was on my mind, and I was afraid, and I didn't trust myself to even speak about my own fears. I knew Jake had a dark side. I had seen it before- I had seen it almost win him over, in the end. The war had done terrible things to him, things that could not be undone no matter how hard I had tried- no matter how hard I had wished.  
  
We were getting closer to the vortex in the center of the place that should not exist, and all the colors of the sky were beginning to blur together. All three worlds were slowly becoming one.  
  
"I see something," Toby said suddenly, breaking the silence. She pointed at peered with my weak human eyes.   
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I believe- it may be the center we are looking for."  
  
The center of the universe.   
  
I knew this universe was an anomaly- it was not supposed to exist. But it still made me wonder. If this universe had a center, and the Time Matrix was in that center, did ours have one too? And, like the Time Matrix had created this universe, was there whatever had created our universe in its center?  
  
It was mind boggling to think about, but it was possible. Perhaps there was someone greater than the Ellimist, non-interfering with others from other universe, and we were simply a strange accident.  
  
As we drew nearer, my eyes began to make out the vortex in the distance. Soon I also saw a small figure near the vortex, and my heart began to pound loudly in my ears. Oh, god, I wasn't ready. A thousand memories sprang to mind, some good- our first kiss- and some not so good- like the rift that had grown between us in the end.   
  
"Cassie," he said, and smiled that smile, just for me. Not Cass, just Cassie. Not that nicknames mattered- but I couldn't help but compare Jake and Ronnie. Even at our wedding- I had imagined how it would have been if it was Jake.  
  
"Jake," I said, stopping. He was there, only a few feet in front of me, and some part of me wanted to run to him. A small part. The bigger part knew better- this was not Jake.  
  
And even if it had been, it wouldn't have mattered. Jake and I were over.   
  
"The One is here," he said to me.   
  
Good. Let's talk about the One. An intense, uncharacteristic anger came over me at the thought of the creature that was so intent on causing me so much pain. Anger was good. It helped push the sorrow away.  
  
"I know," I said.  
  
His smile disappeared and he looked at me, a deep emptiness in his eyes. "I always loved you, Cassie. No matter what you think, no matter what I did, that'll always be true."  
  
"Sometimes love isn't enough," I said simply. "And sometimes it simply dies."  
  
"Yes, well, everything dies, why should love be any different?" he said, his voice full of the emptiness that it had been at the end of the war. "Do you know who the One is, Cassie?"  
  
His abrupt change in subject caught me off guard. "He's a creature of Crayak's," I said.  
  
"In a way, yes. But Crayak has no real power over him- they are more like… allies, you could say. The One does what it has always done, and only recently has it started working for Crayak. Do you want to know what the One does?"  
  
No, no, I didn't. I wanted to save my friends, to put this nightmare out of my head, that was what I wanted. I kept silent, knowing Jake would tell me anyway.  
  
"The One is what destroyed us Cassie. He is more than just the darkness of our mortal souls- he is the killer of love. It is because of him we died Cassie. Because that's what he does.  
  
"He kills love."  
  
Yeah, I know it's short. But bear with me (and review!) Thanks to all who have already reviewed, it means a lot. 


	9. The Confrontation

I just stared at him, unable to grasp the meaning of his words. I just shook my head- not really to disagree, just to clear it. "That's insane," I found myself saying. "Love isn't something you can kill, Jake," I said, the words out of my mouth before I could stop them. Jake. I had called him Jake. This creature- this thing that was not my Jake-  
  
I had called him Jake.  
  
He smiled, triumph in his eyes. I shook my head. No. "But love can die, Cassie," he said. "It dies all the time. Why wouldn't it be something that can be killed? It makes perfect sense. What is it they always say Cassie, do you remember? Love conquers all; love is the most powerful force in the universe? Well, the One has the power to destroy it." He looked a little amused then. "If the One can defeat love, what makes you think you can destroy him?"  
  
"She's not alone," Erek spoke up then, and I felt his presence at my side. His hologram was gone and his true face was there. Toby moved up on my other side and I felt a wave of gratitude and love to them, my friends.   
  
Jake smirked, and I felt myself harden at the sight. This was not Jake, not the real one. "Oh, a pacifist android and an anomaly Hork-Bajir. I'm sure my master is quaking in fear."  
  
"'Your master?'" Toby snapped, wrist blades out in a threatening manner. "Whatever happened to Jake the leader, the person we knew?"  
  
The smirk faded from his face and I saw deep lines on his face. God, he looked so old, so tired. So much like Jake again. The emptiness was back in his face- the emptiness that I had tried so hard to fill- so hard, and yet I had always failed. "I never wanted to be anyone's leader. You know that. And now, finally, someone else is in charge, someone else is making the hard choices. And I feel freer than I've ever felt before."  
  
His words stung me worse than if he had slapped me. God, that sounded like Jake. It was Jake. My stomach twisted inside me.   
  
Don't lose it Cassie. This is Jake, yes, but only a part of him. His dark side.  
  
But for so long this had been the side of Jake I knew. The empty, hollow Jake, the Jake for who love was dead. The others were different- I could still remember their good sides enough not to be fooled by their darkness. By now, here, with Jake- everything had become so grey for him that I couldn't tell anymore.  
  
I just couldn't tell.  
  
"What do you want, Jake?" I asked, saying his name.   
  
"It doesn't matter anymore. It only matters what my master wants."  
  
"So what does he want then?" Toby demanded.  
  
Jake paused, but he did not smile and he did not take his eyes away from mine. "What do you think he wants? To rule, to destroy, to control? Who knows- he may want a lot of things. All I know- and all you need to know- is that you cannot leave this place alive."  
  
He began to change then, slowly, and I stumbled back from him, colliding into Erek. And then, from inside the vortex they all stepped out- Ax, Tobias, Marco- all in battle morphs.   
  
Oh god.  
  
(The One will have to send his thanks to the Ellimist for sending you all to him,) Jake said as black and orange fur began to sprout all over his body. (Because I am afraid, Cassie, that your long journey has come to an end.)  
  
(Ironic isn't it?) I 'heard' Marco smirk. (You're going to be destroyed be the people you came here to save. Note to Alanis- now that's ironic.)  
  
And then they were upon us.  
  
  
  
Sorry this took so long and it's so short! I'm VERY busy these days- and to top it off, I've had MASSIVE writer's block! Help me reviewers! Send me more, encourage me to finish this! (Give me ideas... coughcough!) Thank you in advance! 


	10. The Battle

"Cassie, morph!" Toby cried, leaping forward, wrist blades out, but I was already changing. Gray fur began to sprout on my arms and legs, and my spine twisted as I lost my ability to stand erect.   
  
This is couldn't be happening. It just couldn't be- and yet I was changing, here, on this place that had no right to exist, as the people I cared most about rushed forward to destroy me. Erek stood in front of me, my shield as I changed. I could see Toby struggling to hold the others off and she was losing. She was only one, and she was holding back, unwilling to really hurt any of them.   
  
Our 'friends' had no such qualms.  
  
(No!) I cried out silently as I saw Jake's tiger claws pierce Toby's thick skin, as Marco's gorilla fists pummeled into her chest, as Tobias' talons and Ax's tail struck with ferocious accuracy. God, they were killing her!  
  
She cried out once before falling and then she was gone from my view.  
  
(Toby!) I screamed, leaping forward as the last of the changes finished. I let all the panic, fear, confusion slide away from me as the wolf instincts took over. A member of my pack was in danger and I had to protect the pack at all costs.  
  
At all costs.  
  
I leaped and my jaws snapped towards the first unprotected throat within my grasp- the striped, muscular tiger throat.  
  
(Cassie!) Jake's voice cried in my head as I seized his jugular with my teeth. I faltered in my attack and he turned on me, his large tiger body easily overcoming my smaller wolf one. I let out a yelp as I felt his large teeth close over my leg.  
  
Images tumbled all around me as pain shot throughout my body- bleeding, stumbling Toby, struggling to regain her footing as her once friends attacked relentlessly, and Erek, standing, watching in horror and unable to do anything to help.  
  
(Jake, please,) I begged as I struggled to beneath the overwhelming power of the tiger. (Please! This isn't you! God- ah!)  
  
He relaxed his death grip slightly and my breath caught in my throat. (But this is me now, Cassie. Don't you see?) There was a note of sadness in his voice that broke my heart.  
  
(Jake-) I whispered. (Please, just-AH!)  
  
He snarled, digging his claws in me and tightening his jaws around my leg. (I am sorry about this,) he said, (but the One means more to me now than you do.)  
  
His words hurt me worse than any wounds he could inflict. (Really, Jake,) I hissed through the pain. (I hope that makes you happy- because the One will never care about you.) And with my last ounce of strength I threw him off me and pulled myself to my feet. (My fight isn't with you Jake. It's not with any of you!) I screamed out loud. Time seemed to stand still for one moment. (It's not with you,) I said again. (It's with him. The One. I'm done with these games. I'm ready for him. You hear that! I'm ready for you!) I screamed.  
  
And then he was there.   
  
Sorry this took so long, and sorry it's so short. Not only have I been really busy lately, I've also been struck with a massive case of writer's block. Tell me what you think of this newest part please! 


	11. The One

I don't know what I was expecting- but it wasn't this. He was like some hideous Frankenstein experiment gone wrong. He was a mixture of all kinds of creatures- of human, Andalite, Hork-Bajir, and others I didn't know. There was something eerily familiar about him- or it- though, something that I couldn't put my finger on until he smiled at me. I recognized that smile, and my heart missed a beat in alarm. But… how?   
  
It was Jake's smile.  
  
I saw pieces of the others, here and there- like some hideous Picasso. And it became more hideous to me as I realized the horrific truth. He had sucked the goodness out of my friends. It was on his face like a trophy- he had sucked the love out of my friends. Jake was right- he killed love. These people I was fighting- my friends… they were my friends, after all, but just my friends without any goodness in them, without any love.  
  
I would kill him.  
  
An incredible rage welled up inside me then, and it was like nothing I had ever felt before. I would kill this creature, who dared to wear the face of the ones I loved. I would rip him to shreds with my own teeth.   
  
I snarled, a low, guttural sound deep within my wolf throat. I had made the noise many times before, but this was the first time the wolf's mind and mine were almost one and the same. This was our enemy- we kill our enemies. The feeling was so intense it was frightening. I had never felt anything like this before.   
  
Was this what Rachel had once felt, rushing into battle? The adrenaline rushing through her veins, the enemy in sight? Whatever it was it scared me. This was not me.  
  
But I would not- could not- let this creature steal the love from my friends and get away with it.   
  
"My god," Toby whispered, as she too realized what exactly she was facing.   
  
Erek clicked a second later.  
  
"Is this the best my enemies can do?" the creature drawled in a distinctly human- and yet inhuman- voice. "You three? You know what I am- I can see it in your eyes. Surely you realize there is no way to beat me?" His beautiful green Andalite eyes glistened with malice. "I know everything about you. I know about the android who will live forever and never be happy; I know about the Hork-Bajir that will never feel like one of her own people; and I know of the human who lives on as the last survivor of a groups of warriors. The three of you don't belong anywhere in the real universe- it seems fitting that you'd meet your end here- in a place that should not exist."   
  
(I'm not the last,) I said, feeling a shiver of fear run down my spine at his words. (And we won't be meeting our end- not here, not now.)  
  
He laughed, and I swore I heard Marco's voice there. "I suppose you're going to tell me that I'm the one who is going to meet my end today?"  
  
(Perhaps,) I growled. I glanced at my Jake, Marco, Tobias and Ax. They were still in their battle morphs, but they were no longer concerned with Erek, Toby and me. They were gathered around the One, staring up at him with some sort of deep desire. Did they long for to be whole again, or were they just happy to see their master once again? There was no way to tell.   
  
"Do we have some kind of plan?" Erek said, his voice hollow. I risked a glance at him. His hologram was gone, but I could tell he was sad. Was the One right- would Erek never be happy?  
  
"He is probably right- there is no way to beat him," Toby said a matter-of-factly. "But I am still willing to try."  
  
If I had been human, I would have smiled. (So am I.) I crouched down low for the attack. Rachel, give me strength. (Let's do it.) 


	12. The Time Matrix

**Author's Note:** Okay, so it has been forever since I've worked on this, or even read an Animorphs book, so this chapter (which is very short, I know) may be just awful. Please- give me your honest opinion of this and tell me if I should continue this story or just let it go the way of the dodo.

War kills all things.

War is the ultimate destroyer- everything it touches dies. And our war was no different. Humans had died, Yeerks had died, Andalites, Hork-Bajir, Taxxons… And the greatest friendships I had ever known, my first love… those had died too, because of the war. And even though I survived the war, I died too. The person I had wanted to become, the person I used to be… I didn't know that person anymore.

I was bleeding, tired, and angry. I had started the day waking up next to my husband, taking care of my children, and now I was back in battle morph, fighting again. I had thought that the fighting was finally over. But now I was in the middle of the worst fight yet- because I was fighting my friends.

Erek stood at my side, untouched and unscarred. He was still a Chee, after all, even after years of living as a human, and so he couldn't fight. Not for the first time I felt an odd sort of jealousy; it would be nice, to not be able to fight. But I did not hold it against him- he was who he was.

Toby, bleeding but never broken, slammed into Marco's gorilla, sending him flying. If she had wanted to, she could have driven her wrist blades into his stomach and taken a chunk of him with her. I knew that because I fought as a Hork-Bajir before. But our fight was not with our friends- it was with the One.

Jake leaped on me and I dodged to the side and right into Ax's tail. I cried out at the sharp Andalite blade sliced my side. I ignored the pain, ignored the blood- and kept my eyes on the prize.

The One.

He made no effort to move out of the way as I used all the strength I had left to lunge for him. Toby at my back deflected Tobias as he dove towards me. I flew at the One and landed on him, claws out. Together we stumbled back into the vortex and everything else faded away. My wolf body began to grow older around me, but if the One and his mix-matched body was changing too, I couldn't tell.

I was about to charge the One again when I suddenly saw it. White, gleaming, and perfect. The galaxy's greatest invention- and its greatest weapon.

The Time Matrix.

It hit me then. I could use the Time Matrix! I could go back, and save the others from the One, save Rachel from her fate… or I could go back to that day, the construction site… the possibilities were endless! It didn't have to be this way.

The One laughed, and this time I was sure I heard Marco's voice in there. "Isn't it beautiful? There is so much good you could do with it, Cassie- and so much evil. But that line is blurry to begin with, isn't it? Maybe the line doesn't even exist." He reached out to touch the machine, but dropped then suddenly dropped his hand.

I watched him closely as he stared at the Time Matrix with hungry, eager eyes. Hawk eyes, I realized after a second. Tobias's hawk eyes. I expected the One to close the distance between himself and the Matrix, but he never did. Why?

Was he afraid to use it?

My initial excitement had faded with the One's words. I knew I couldn't use the Time Matrix. I couldn't mess with time, I couldn't go back and change things, no matter how much they needed changing. I knew that. If I messed around with time, who knew the consequences would be?

But oh god, there were so many things that needed to be done, or undone, so many mistakes that needed correcting...

"Did you know that the Ellimist considers this his worst mistake?" the One asked me, his eyes still on the Time Matrix. "Creating this... you have no idea the chaos it caused, and how Crayak laughed with delight when he learned of it." The creature sighed longingly. "There is so much I could so with this, so much I could destroy..."

Then why don't you? I couldn't stop myself from asking.

Jake's sad smile spread across his Andalite/Hork Bajir face. "Because there is so much that could be saved in the process. It cannot be risked."

How ironic. We both dared not use the Time Matrix, but for opposite reasons. I was afraid of what I might ruin in the process of fixing the past, he was afraid of what he might save in the process of destroying it.

I suddenly felt very lost, and very small. Time was so big, so infinite, and I was so small and insignificant. What did my suffering matter to the universe? What did the suffering and the deaths of my friends matter in the scheme of things?

It wasn't fair! What was I supposed to do? I couldn't use the Time Matrix, and I couldn't defeat the One. That was obvious now and, in a way, it had always been obvious. I could try to kill the One, but would it die? Or would all the goodness of my friends, the things I wanted to save the most, die instead? It was a risk I could not take. I could fight the darkness of each of them, but I could not risk hurting their goodness. Their love.

There was no way to win.

If I was human, I would have cried. I would have broken down and given up right there. But the wolf did not understand my agony, did not even know what it was. The wolf's only thoughts were of survival. Was this strange smelling creature in front of me a threat or not?

Fight or flight. Those were the only choices.

I couldn't fight anymore, so maybe... maybe flight really was the right response.

It would be wrong to use the Time Matrix, but suddenly I didn't care. What was right and what was wrong? My ideas about the right thing and the wrong thing had changed so much over the years… and I didn't care anymore.

Maybe another part of me died right then. Maybe it was an important part too, but now, now it was just another casualty of war.

Maybe the One was stealing my goodness too, right in front of me. Fine. Let him have it- it's done nothing for me over the years.

I began to demorph, reaching out a hand towards the Matrix and I began to change. My hand touched the smooth white surface and then the universe around me faded away-and I was back.

At the construction site.


End file.
